So, I was thinking, since real people eat real butter, what do zombies eat? Fake butter?
I mean, they're not really REAL people anymore. They're kinda dead.
Rotting.
Smelly.
Dying.
Green.
So, maybe they really do eat fake butter.
I don't really know why a zombie would eat butter, let alone fake butter, but I'm not going to question it either.
Maybe fake butter tastes like human flesh?
Live human flesh of course. Zombies don't eat other zombies because zombies don't taste like live people.
I wouldn't know, of course, seeing as I'm not a zombie. And I haven't ate dead flesh. Or live flesh.
Well, I have. Just not human. I do love my cow.
And chicken.
LOL COW AND CHICKEN!! Anyone remember that show?
"Mama had a chicken, mama had a cow, dad didn't care how, he was proud. COW AND CHICKEN!"
No?
Oh.
Well, I do. It didn't have any zombies in it, but they had real butter.
So, they were real people.
In cartoon world.
They were real people in cartoon world
ANYWAYS BACK TO MY ORIGINAL POINT....
Actually...I forgot it while being reminded of cow and chicken...
Why don't we ever see zombie chickens? I mean, maybe a chicken wants to be a zombie, too. We eat them anyways so it's not like it matters.
LOLOLOL CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? CHICKEN ZOMBIES GOING AFTER OTHER CHICKENS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
Erm. Anyways
As I was saying.
Zombies aren't real people because they don't eat real butter
SO
If we gave a zombie real butter, they'd become real people!
See what I did there?
That's right.
I found the cure to zombieism. Butter. REAL butter.
Honestly, what would the world do without me?
So. If you straddled a zombie...would it care? I mean, it couldn't move, so it'd just kind of sit there...for hours. Or until you fall off. But then you'd be ate. And you'd have decaying flesh all over your clothes
Actually, know what? don't straddle zombies.
Nobody likes dead flesh on their clothes.
Except necrophiliacs, but they'd all already be zombies anyways so it doens't really matter.
Well it does, I guess. They...are people...but not real people. .....
SO IN CONLUSIOM
Zombies = will feed of necrophiliacs first during sexytimes
Necro!Zombie= go off feasting on fake butter
Real butter = real people
Fake butter = you're a zombie.
SO GO GIVE BACK THAT MARGARINE BEFORE YOU BECOME A ZOMBIE.
....
It happens.
I know it does.
The SWAT team just comes in and kills the people and blames it as suicide before anyone can figure out zombies are, indeed real.
They are.
Honest.
